The white flag has been risen

I woke this morning to find frost on my windows. The sun shone through the little crystals, making a rainbow pattern on the still empty bassinet. And as I sat on the bed, I looked at those patterns and thought of how beautiful they are. What delicate lines and vibrant colors come through such ordinary frost particles. The same kind of particles that make us aware that winter is just right around the corner and that also cause us to take more time scrapping off our car windows.

That’s when it hit me. I’m just as ordinary as those particles clinging to my window pane. Except, I’m not clinging to glass, I’m clinging to my Lord. I began to wonder, when people look at me, do they see a beautiful pattern shinning through me? Or do they see someone who is struggling, trying to hold on with her own strength and miserably failing? Do they see ordinary lines and ugly shapes commonly found when life seems bleak and dead? Or do they see colors that only the Master can create and can only come from Him? In essence, do they see me or do they see Him?

I know that I am nothing and nothing still to look at (after 10+ years, I still can’t see what my husband sees in me. I suppose that’s a good thing! :0) ). I am rough. I am odd. I am ordinary. I am simple. But with the Master’s hand, I am and will be, made into something beautiful. This transformation will not be without pain or discomfort. It will not be without struggles or confusion. It will be in a time of clearness with understanding and in a time of fog with little to no understanding. I realize that this is one of those times where I am being refined. Perhaps even tested, if you will. With this knowledge, there is only one course of action for me to take. It’s time to raise the white flag and surrender. Surrender to His will, His timing and His goodness.