I’m trying to homeschool Maacah more then I did last year. I say “trying” instead of “doing” because that it what amounts to: trying. I’ve made lesson plans (at least for September I did), printed them out and taped it to the fridge. I also made a daily schedule of what we are doing at certain times of the day and that, too, is taped to the fridge.
Why do we homeschool? Because we believe it is the best course for our children. We want to be the ones to decide what they are taught, when they are taught it. There is so much that I disagree with that is going on/being taught in the public schools. Now I know there are good, Christian poeple “on the inside”; my mother being one of them. But in most schools, they are the minority. And can bring their beliefs into the classroom only so much. My biology teacher in 10 grade is a good example. When it was time to teach on our orgins, he stated “I’m a Christian and I do not believe in evolution, I believe in creation. However, I’m expected to teach this section in the book. We will not spend much time here…”. And we didn’t. 1 week, to be exact. This was in small, heavily Mormon influenced area, so he could do this and get away with it. If it was done within the school I graduated from, in the suburbs of Washington DC, he would have been diciplined, if not fired. And then there’s the heavily liberal influence that’s just laced throughout the system. We are very conservative people, so that in itself doesn’t sit well with us.
That’s not to say this is all a walk in the park. It’s the begining of October and I’m already reading a short book titled “Rest for Weary Homschoole Moms”. It’s not the schooling part that I’m finding difficult. It’s getting organized and getting focused, that was becoming my problem.
Was?! (she says with a laugh) Yes, thankfully, this frazzled Mama is becoming more organized and focused of what needs to be done and how to do it. How? Easy. I put God back where He should be. Before Malachi was born, I read my Bible every day in the afternoon. But, for whatever reason, afterwards I stopped and just didn’t put it back in. The pressures of what was expected of me, what I expected of myself, and everything else we have going on in our lives was making me feel so overwhelmed, it was bringing me to tears frequently ~ and for those of you who know me, I despise crying! I’m not a weepy kind-of woman and I hate it when I cry. I cried out to God, “What is wrong? Why can’t I seem to make a dent in anything? How can I spend the whole day doing something, yet feel like nothing was done? Where are you?”. And His answer? “I am first and foremost.” Ohhh… Talk about a “duh” moment. I knew that. I know that. For the last two weeks, I have gotten up before 7 am ~ gasp! Me?! ~ and I read His word the first thing in my day (after I get dressed and make myself a cup of lemon tea. I have to wake up my brain). The problems and the “busyness” have not gone away. They are still here, in fact they’ve moved in! But I can handle it now. I have put God back where He belongs: in the drivers seat. Starting my day out with Him allows me to end my day sane.
“Perhaps we need to see ourselves as we really are. Our true need is not just a little help (and then I’ll take it from here, thank you very much) but total transformation. Without God’s enabling we can do nothing. Nothing. Only as God enlivens and empowers our efforts can they begin to be successful. The “key” to success is God’s mercy, grace, and power at work in and through us. It is not about how awesome we are. It is about His faithfulness. It is about learning to rest in His power and grace. It is about dying to my agenda and yielding myself to His. It is about learning to draw our strength from Him and Him alone. Any time our reliance is on ourselves, we will either fail miserably and become depressed or succeed still more miserably and be consumed by pride.
In my flesh there dwells no good thing. Without grace we have no hope. But God promises grace to the humble (I Peter 5:6). Pitch your tent upon this truth. It is where God meets with us. It is where the fountains of grace flow forth. It is where your source of life is always to be found. And it is always enough.”