I’m tired. And it’s not just physical. My whole being is tired. Actually, it’s not tired. It’s exhausted.
Have you ever been in the position where you know God is closing a door (or the door has already closed), but He has yet to open another one? That’s where we are. We truly believe that the Lord is moving us. But we don’t know where or when. It’s the “not knowing” part that is truly exhausting. (Actually, we have an idea of where, but the when part is eluding us at the moment)
You have all these questions running around in your head, with not many of them being answered. They will be, yes. For we know that God will not leave us alone and stranded. But until the answers come …. it feels like we are in the dark, knowing we can’t go back, knowing we can’t stay put, but not knowing which path to take. It’s being in this “limbo” state that is really getting to me. It’s just like I felt when I was expecting Nathaniel and the due date came and went … and went …. and went…. I’m hoping to pass this test with a bit more grace then I did with him.
We feel we need to “try out” a particular church before we know for sure if the Lord is moving us some place or not. But, unfortunately, we won’t be able to visit that church for another month. For Adam is working all this week, so come Sunday, May 25, he is going to be very tired and not able (or willing) to travel to this church (it is about 3 hours away). We are leaving for Idaho on June 1 and will be returning on June 9. So the next available Sunday will be June 15. That is itself is a bit discouraging.
On one hand, I’m not sure I can want to wait that long for an answer (whether it will be a positive one or not). This patience thing is really not one of my virtues. But on the other hand, I know it will all work out in God perfect timing. And in the mean-time, He will teach me about the patience thing I’m not really good at (and whatever else He has in mind).
Thanks for listening reading. I feel a bit better.