Nathaniel had the MRI done this morning, which we were very thankful for. We were hoping to get the results back before Adam had to leave. So here they are: there is indeed swelling in his brain, which are causing his seizures. The majority of the injury is on the left side of the brain, with a little on the right side as well. And the injury is in the back of his head, which would more likely effect his learning capabilities, his understanding of things, the thought process…things like that (if there is any damaging effect at all. We won’t, of course, know that for quite some time). Time will also tell if there were any strokes that went on (strokes meaning some cells died. There probably was some damage to some cells, but damage can be repaired by the brain. The death of a cell can not be.)
We didn’t get to see him much this morning, actually not at all because we were talking with his doctor and then they were making him ready to go to the MRI “room”. So we didn’t really get to say “hi” or any thing until after 1 o’clock. But that was okay, because by then they had taken off all the nodes from his head (they were metal and you can’t put metal into the MRI machine or it won’t work). So, he had a “normal” looking head this morning, instead of looking like a borg baby with wires coming off his head. And I got to hold him! ( I got to hold him again this evening for a whole hour! I can’t tell you what that did for this Mama’s heart!!). They had moved his IV from his head to his arm as well, so I had to be extra gentle with his arm and couldn’t hold him as close as I wanted to. And I didn’t get to hold him long because we had gone shopping for some breakfast food and for some reason, I wasn’t walking as well today as I was yesterday. So I needed to come back to our room and rest for awhile.
(Ya’ll are going to think this is crazy, but I’m sitting here trying to remember what we did this afternoon. And for the life of me, I can’t! Oh boy!) Anyway, we had supper here before Adam had to leave for home. I must admit, I don’t like this at all. It’s waaaay too quite here now. I have 4 children (yes, I know, 5 now. But he’s not making much sound at the moment.) who are a bit lively at times and so my days/time are hardly ever quite. Not this quiet, anyway. Most people would treasure this time alone. And while I must admit it is nice, it’s not preferred. I miss my children. I miss my home. I miss my husband and he hasn’t even been gone 5 hours. And I miss my little boy over there in the hospital. I know I really don’t have much to complain about. Compared to what most of the mother’s over there have to deal with, I’m very blessed. I get to hold my child. And it will be only a matter of days until we can bring him home. Instead of the months those other baby’s will be there for.
Nathaniel did show some positive improvement tonight. He started to move his arms and head, along with having some facial expressions. Since Saturday morning, he has been so sedated that there has been no voluntary movements or facial movements from him at all. But tonight, there was. And best of all, he sucked his pacifier! This may seem small, but to me it’s huge! You see, the doctor said this morning that they will continue to let the anti-seizure medications be metabolized by his body (one of the medications takes days to do that, and that’s in a non-newborn body.), so they will continue to keep the dosage at the rate it is at and not increase it. When they have begun to stabilize in his body, he will begin to wake up more and the hope is, that the seizures will not return. Once he begins to be more awake and his breathing is not so labored as it is now, we will begin to feed him with a bottle or breast. When the are more confidant that there is no more seizure activity going on, that he is breathing normally and that he is eating relatively well, they will let us go home. We are looking at Monday being the earliest we will come home. By Thursday or Friday, we should have more of an idea about the time frame we are looking at. We hope, anyway.
****************************************
I have a question for you mothers: how do you get your milk to “let down” when you have to pump? I’ve never seriously pumped before (because I hate pumping!) but for right now, I don’t have a choice. I can feel my milk starting to come in, although it hasn’t fully done so yet. But it doesn’t seem to be “letting down” when I pump. Do I pump for a longer time then I would feed a baby? I have tried turning the pump up (it’s electric) to “high”, but that doesn’t seem to help. I have tried pumping for 20 minutes on each side. That doesn’t help either. I have tried pumping on one side, then going to the other side, then going back to the first breast, so on and so on. All to none avail! Do any of you have any suggestions for me?
Okay, it’s almost 11:30 pm. It’s way past my bed time (assuming I still have one, that is)! Good night all!
Day 4