* I felt it necessary, due to the nature of this post, to put a disclaimer at the beginning. I am in no way judging someone else for their different beliefs or thoughts on this matter. I am simply stating my opinions and how I view things. And perhaps my words will help someone think on these things, where not much thought has been put. *
I have been thinking about children lately. Not just my own, but children in general. Children are an obvious need in a society, something that many countries in Europe and in Asia are “discovering”. When you don’t repopulate yourself, you die out. But is that all children are good for? To keep a society going?
If asked, I think most people would say that the like/love children. Based on their actions, one would have to question that.
Lets say you have a young couple who just got married. It’s understood, even if it’s not talked about, that they will “wait” for an allotted amount of time (usually 2 years) to have children. The wife is on birth control and she is taught that she must take that faithfully. Never mind that no one ever told her, or her husband, that the birth control pill is, at least a percentage of the time, an abortive substance. And that any form of birth control that alters that hormones in ones body, and changes that way our body works, can have life time effects. For how could it not? If you took a medicine that changed that way your heart beat, would you be surprised that it effected you? But so many people are surprised to find out that by taking these synthetic hormones, a woman’s body is changed and altered.
So our couple waits for a few years and then announces that they are expecting their first child. Everyone is excited and happy for our couple. A few years later, they add another child to their family. Again, everyone is excited and happy for them. This is the typical family of 4 in America. (And yes, 4 is the average number of a family in our country. Just go into any restaurant and see how many tables are set up for 4 people.) The husband and wife both like children and have always wanted them. And now, after 2 children, they are done. How many times have you heard that comment? And does that comment really portray a love for children? I have heard so many different reason for a couple being “done” having children: “I’ve never wanted more than 2”, “This is all we can afford”, “My children are getting (or are in) to the stage where they can do things for themselves and I like it”…. and so on and so on. I’m not going to say that these are bad things to think or say, but upon reading them, what kind-of attitude do you get from them? Is that an attitude that we, as Christians, should have?
If our couple were indeed to “stop” at 2 children, no one would say anything. It would be accepted that they wouldn’t have anymore children. However, lets say that they wanted more children and so they added a 3rd child to their family. People would still be happy for them and they would still find room at restaurants to sit down without having to push tables together. Now is the time some people would beginning to ask, “You’re done, right?”. To which our couple reply’s…how?
If our couple has a 4th child, they will get the raised eyebrows and the question “are they all yours?”(If they continue to have children, they will hear this question for the next 20 years!) They will most likely hear the “you are not being responsible” talk from their parents and the “your breeding like rabbits!” comment from their friends. Not always, but these are usually things people in our society say. You know, the same people who stated above that they like/love children, but when someone has many children, that like/love for children seems to be forgotten.
As Christians, we should care what God has to say about things. So what does the Lord say about children? In Psalm 127, it states that ” Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. “ (I am not trying to promote the “quiver full” mentality with this one. Most people forget my “quiver full” of children is not the same number as yours. The Duggar family obviously has a quiver full of at least 19 children, while a couple I know has a quiver full of 0 children.)
In the Mosaic law, it states that if a pregnant woman is hurt by another person and the baby is born early, but is not harmed, than the woman’s husband should be paid a certain amount. But if the baby should die, than the person who first harmed the pregnant woman should be stoned to death. (It tells you a lot about what He think about abortion, doesn’t it? But that’s another post.).
Again we find in Psalm 128, “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD. The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.” (It was a sign of wealth for a man to have many olive plants and a fruitful vineyard. The Lord is clear here that what a man is blessed with from Him is not material wealth, but a wealth of a heritage with children.)
Most people already know how Jesus felt about children, when He rebuked his disciples for trying to “shoo” the children away form Him. So does our society, with it’s “2 children is enough” mentality, really portray a love for children? Some of the most harshest criticisms that large families get, come for the Church itself.
If you thought that a million dollars was a blessing from the Lord, would you say “no thank you” if He came back and offered you another million after already giving you 2 million? I don’t know anyone who would do this! Yet this is what people do with children. God created this world just by speaking. He didn’t lift a finger, He didn’t have to move anything. He just spoke. Don’t you think He’s also capable of providing for you, in every way (financially, emotionally, mentally, physically), if He chooses to bless you with another child?
Where do you stand? Do you cherish children the way the Lord does? Do you view them as blessings given to you from the Lord? Or do you agree with the prevailing though in our society: that children are necessary for re-population, but nothing more. They are cute in their little Easter dresses and suites, but we must protect our planet and not introduce anymore “carbon footprints” then we have to. As I look at Damaris, I wonder how many children, like her, never get to be because they would have been born past the 2 child mark. How many children in our recent history, never got a chance at life.
It’s hard. I takes much sacrifice to be a parent, whether it’s a parent to 1 or 19. And it takes faith to trust the only One who really has the control anyway. And yes, this is faith that at 2 am in the morning, when you’ve been up for too long with a sick child, you question. But when you look into one of these precious, beautiful faces (faces, that if left to popular thinking, would never be here, smiling at you), God’s way makes sense.